Ok so I’m now a bit cranky. I had a firmly tongue in cheek post ready to rock and roll, and somehow deleted the damn thing. Sigh…. So. Starting Over. As my daughter’s cat lingers in the porch window and hisses at me while I type…. its an auspicious restart?
Its Everest Season. That slim window of time wherein certifiably crazy people attempt to climb to the world’s highest point and perhaps kill themselves in the process. I find it morbidly fascinating. Oh, I neither need nor want to see corpses. I just can’t understand why anyone would want to do such a thing. If you want to die, there’s much easier and less painful ways to do so, friend. “Certainty of Death, Small chance of success? What are we waiting for?” ~ Gimli LOTR. Of course, this is coming from me, safely ensconced at my keyboard. Me, who can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. Me, who has a full blown asthma attack when I laugh too hard. I doubt I could walk to Base Camp without incident. Speaking of Incidents: apparently there was a doozy of an EPIC ice ax fight between Climbers and Sherpas last week. YIKES! And perhaps long, long overdue? I’ve been rereading my copies of Into Thin Air and Dark Summit and I guess I’m totally #TeamSherpa. Not that I agree with violence – BUT They do most – if not all, of the heavy lifting on the mountain – including schlepping incapacitated climbers to the summit and back (Sandy Hill Pittman, anyone?) for very little international recognition or financial compensation. All guts, no glory – as the climbers end up with the cred. Bound to be frustrating – hence the boilover. But yeah – alas, you won’t see me up there this year. Unless transporter technology suddenly leapfrogs and I can get there without having to “get there.” I kind of like this breathing thing – which is apparently quite difficult to do 29,035 feet above sea level. And which I just realized is the height at which airplanes fly and now I’m woozy….
Woozy or not I am, however, attending a Kentucky Derby Party this afternoon. Complete with frock, fascinator, and mint julep in hand. Much more up my alley, as it were. No fatal missteps into a crevasse or off a ledge at 27,000 feet. Fatal conversational missteps may occur if I over-imbibe on those mint juleps though. (wink wink – woozy indeed) But breathing should not be a problem unless the pollen count suddenly skyrockets on me. I further confess I know nothing about “slop”, “exotics” “exacta wheels” or what “boxing” things does. Here’s how Derby Day works for me: I pick a horse. It has to have a nice name and be a pretty horse. I scream and yell for it from the starting gate to the finish line. I haven’t picked a winner since Seattle Slew and Secretariat – who ran the fastest Kentucky Derby EVER in 1973 – under two minutes! So, if there’s an “S” name in the bunch this year that’s what I’m going with. Hahaha! Pictures will be posted on Facebook and Twitter later.
- What Does it Cost to Climb Everest? (outsideonline.com)
- Everest climbers abandon ascent after attack by scores of angry Sherpas (guardian.co.uk)
- Watch: Alleged Mob of Sherpas Attack Climbers on Everest (abcnews.go.com)
- Everest Brawl Pits Climbers vs. Sherpas (abcnews.go.com)
- Brawl at 24,000 Feet: Inside the Ice-Axe Wielding Fight on Mt. Everest’s Summit (theatlanticwire.com)
- 139th Kentucky Derby today, $1,000 mint julep being sold (wgntv.com)
- Preparing for the Kentucky Derby (walkinginprettyshoes.com)
- Kentucky Derby Mint Julep (thekissters.com)
- Kentucky Derby Parties are Big Nationwide this Year. (prweb.com)
- 5 things to know Saturday at the Kentucky Derby (timesleader.com)