I had absolutely no idea what I was going to write about today until I was almost home. I have a half hour commute each way and I generally get a lot of thinking done on the way to and from the place that owns me 8/40. On the way in, I plan my day. On the way home, I plan my evening. If I haven’t posted at lunchtime, the ride home is when I consider what I’m going to write about. I’ve made a commitment to write daily, and I’ve been able to keep that since I started my blogging journey. And how wonderful that journey has been so far! So first, some appreciation to those who think what I have to say is valuable. Thanks so much.
But I still really didn’t know what I wanted to write about this evening. Its 15 miles from work to my driveway. “I puzzled and puzzed, till my puzzler was sore…” Then my gas light came on while I was still on the Mass Pike. Fortunately there’s at least 10 miles left in the tank when that happens – and I was close to my exit. So I stopped for gas at the station down the street from home. We actually bought our house from the owners of said station; and my oldest was in Choir with much of the family. The Choir Director is their mother and an absolutely lovely, lovely person, jsyk. Anyway, one of the older boys waited on me at the pump and we made some small talk. Corey’s graduating in 2 weeks and he mentioned that he couldn’t believe how fast the time has been going. “Wait’ll you have kids and get to my age”, was my response. Bingo! Steve Miller started singing in my head as the light bulb went on over it.
There have been several points in time in my life so far where time has seemed to stand still. Between ages 8 and 13, summers pretty much lasted forever and not much changed. Life was pretty good, for the most part. Then I hit high school, the gears shifted, the wheels started turning and things went into fast forward mode. I pretty much stayed in fast forward until getting married. The Viking and I had seven years together before Miss Chaos arrived. Seven years of sitting at the top of the Ferris Wheel, figuratively speaking. The view was grand, and I love that we got to know each other so much better than most couples do before they start their families. Having children changes everything. I’ve been living life at warp speed since the age of 31.
You measure your time by their milestones. First smile, first steps, first words. First day of school. You go about your days – or at least I did – in robot mode. Putting one foot in front of the other. Time is measured by the school year. Before you know it, its Halloween, then Christmas, then spring vacation. Then summer. Summer, that was endless when I was a child – is now only 8-10 weeks long. Back to school in a flash. And do it all over again. Not to say that I haven’t stopped to smell the proverbial roses. I have, and had lots of fun. Those good times go by even faster than the monotonous everyday. I still haven’t figured out why that is, but they do.
You stop by to see your parent one day and there’s a really old person sitting where your Mom is supposed to be. That’s always a shock. You say goodnight to your father when he leaves your house after dinner one night in early June half a decade ago, and 24 hours later the police are at your house informing you you need to get to the hospital ASAP. It’s THAT quick folks. I confess to getting a bit melancholy at this time of year; I miss my father very much. And then there’s always that lovely morning where you look in the mirror and see crow’s feet and grey hair. Thats OK though – supposed to happen. I don’t feel any different inside than I did at 25, I actually think I’m much healthier now. I weigh a helluva lot less than I did then, certainly. But I feel the press of passing years differently. My view-screen has changed.
I’m still keeping time by the school calendar – that won’t change for at least 10 more years. Having my girls later in life than most has kept me young, at least in spirit. I’ve also come to realize over the years that I can take time for me without feeling guilty about it. I continue filling my life with meaningfulness rather than monotony. I can choose, I do choose, to live that meaningful life. Enjoying the moments, minutes, or hours with my family and friends whenever I can. Making a difference in whatever small way I can. Flying like the Eagle, as Steve would say. I’ve hopefully got a long ways to go before I’ve got one foot in the grave and the other on that banana peel. But I’m off to enjoy the NOW. Because “time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin into the future…”