The Way I See It

We’ve emasculated ourselves to the point where we’re talking, but not communicating – because we are too afraid of saying what we really mean. To start, I think we’ve forgotten the difference between accommodation and tolerance these days in our quest to be politically correct and inoffensive.

Accommodate: To suit; adapt; conform; adjust; arrange.

No political correctness

No political correctness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Tolerate: To permit, allow, understand or accept something

The terms are related and certainly not mutually exclusive. However, I’ll get straight to my point and let the fireworks start – We need to understand that our tolerance and acceptance of others – which is a wonderful thing and should be strongly encouraged – does not in any way oblige us to adapt, conform, adjust or rearrange ourselves unless we wish to. I can accept that you may not celebrate Christmas, for example. But I am not obligated to adjust, adapt, or rearrange my celebration of the holiday simply because you don’t celebrate it. I’m not obligated to keep my mouth shut, either. Neither are you.  Let’s live and let live on that two way street. Let’s celebrate that diversity, shall we? Show me yours and I’ll show you mine, so to speak…. I’d love to know more about your culture and religious practices.

Which brings me to another point: Why are we so afraid of giving offense? As long as you are speaking respectfully to me and not putting me down with a personal attack, feel free to say what you think (which leads me to wonder why wishing someone a “Merry Christmas” is offensive?- its positive, and certainly not an attack or disrespectful in any way) . How am I going to understand you and communicate effectively with you if we cannot speak to each other honestly and from the heart. Its OK to disagree. In fact, I’ve found I’ve done some of my best thinking in the course of a “spirited debate” – also known as an ARGUMENT – with someone. It is not ever OK to be nasty or cruel , I can’t stress that enough. But being nice does not mean that one has to be “namby-pamby” either. Perhaps this is where the idea of political correctness started in the first place? (LIGHT BULB MOMENT – LAAAA!) If so, the concept has gone too far at this point. We have pc-ed ourselves into lackluster, cotton wrapped ineffectiveness.

So yeah – Life is not fair. And its really not up to anyone but ourselves to “make it fair up to our means”. The circumstance of birth is decided by chance – or divine providence -either way its the hand you’re dealt. But  its how you play those cards that count. If you want to get ahead then work hard, period. Nobody OWES anyone anything other than perhaps the opportunity to try. And this is where I have “issues” – ie PROBLEMS – with some of the current generations self entitled “I’m here – now what are your other two wishes?” thinking. I neither need or want to fix things FOR you, there’s too many helicopters out there as it is – but I will be happy to direct you where you need to go to get the tools you need to fix said things yourself.

We’re not doing the current generation any favors by providing all the answers, giving them the “participation trophies” (God I really hate that!), and promoting them through school when they clearly can’t do the work.  I don’t feel like you’re doing any child a favor by making all kinds of exceptions and excuses for them – because when they get out in the real world they are going to fail – alot – and they won’t know how to handle it. Learning how to handle both success and defeat graciously is key to functioning well in today’s society.  We can’t teach those lessons if we don’t let our children experience failure.  And so what if you don’t get picked for the baseball team? That’s life. You can’t play baseball? Sorry, but  I’m sure you can find something you do excel at; and since you won’t be playing on the team you’ll have the time to find out, right? People need to learn how to deal with disappointment – because in the real world it happens all the time. My best advice: grow a thicker skin, get a good work ethic, and get over yourselves. You’re not as special as you think you are  – except to your Mama – and yanno what? THATS OK!

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10 thoughts on “The Way I See It

  1. This post is AWESOME. I’ve noted, with alternating disgust and amusement, that the people quickest to claim offense are usually the ones behaving in the most offensive manner.

    And Merry Christmas!

  2. I think the tolerance concept comes out of our American experiment with pluralism over the past 50 years. Prior to that our ancestors were pretty much into “whose on top” with England, France, Spain, Germany, Russia giving each other black eyes over who would be in charge. Meanwhile, the rest of us (Irish, Eastern European states, regions of the Arabia, Africa and Asia) got run over. We were really not interested in immigration (e.g. Italy and Ireland) except for cheap labor through the 1920’s. After WWII though, we began to assimilate people from more nations, cultures, and religions. I’m not sure that many other nations are doing much better than we about being tolerant, as our national rhetoric gets more and more isolationistic. Of course, it doesn’t help when some groups of people would like to kills us.

    • Yeah the whole I kill you thing puts a real damper on everything. And I wholeheartedly agree we are becoming much more isolationistic. I also really like how you related this to geopolitics. Thank you for the thoughtful comment!

  3. Thank you for including me in this, glad to see I could write something that would fit to someone elses need, as well as thoughts. Agree about the Chriistmas thing….oh man is that such crap! I cant say, “Merry Christas” because it might offend someone… Psh! If you dont believe inChristmas go somewhere else or just learn to say it back…geesh, lol…

    • No problem! When your post came up as a related article I just HAD to use it. You nailed it, which just solidifies what I had to say. The Christmas thing bugs me, so does the “participation trophy” thing. We’re not teaching real life skills. Thanks again!

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