I was, strangely enough- listening to a local radio station on my way into work this morning. Normally I keep the music and talk off and wake up/organize my thoughts on the 20 minute drive but today was an exception. DJ Leslie http://lazer993.com/Leslie-in-the-Morning—Home/4374042 at LAZER 99.3 was doing her “Chicks on Chicks” segment. (it’s not what you think – guys call in or text her to get her perspective on a girl issue and she talks about it on air) . This morning she was talking about whether or not women who dress, shall we say “trampishly” should expect to get groped or grabbed in a nightclub or bar setting. There was quite a bit of back and forth about this as you could well imagine. One of the male DJ’s emphatically stated that it should be “expected”. Feminists were up in arms. “Dogs and Cats. . . living together… Mass Hysteria…” Ok I’m back from my Ghostbusters / Bill Murray moment.
Anyway, call me old-fashioned (go ahead, I’ll wait) ……………………………..BUT I actually kind of agree with the male DJ on this one. At the very least one should be prepared for the grope if one chooses to dress like a hooch…. Now I’m definitely NOT saying its OK to put your hands on anyone without their permission. But – and here’s the question I want to throw out here – Isn’t permission kinda sorta IMPLIED simply BECAUSE the choice has been made to wear the skanky outfit to begin with?? Its all about the advertising. Men are visual creatures ( “I see something I like, I go for it”. ~ Maverick, ‘Top Gun’) So, if you’re parading around in a dress you have to use double sided tape with to avoid a thoracic wardrobe malfunction – then chances are excellent that some drunk idiot is gonna try and get a little “somethin somethin”. And yes, I totally think that if you’re wearing that hooker wannabe outfit then you’re broadcasting your availability. Just like those birds of paradise do in New Guinea. Leslie was pretty much saying the same thing. Add drunk and hormonal to the mix and that’s a potential recipe for big time trouble.
Again, nobody has the right to touch anyone else without permission. No one has the right to violate someone else. But people do have the responsibility to themselves firstly though, to make sure that the door’s not left open to do that. If you really don’t want that kind of attention, then make sure you don’t attract it. So I tell my girls to THINK about the messages they send with what they wear and how they talk. People form their impressions of others based on appearance – if its quacking like a duck and has feathers, it’s a duck, yanno? You can’t just say ‘I’ll do what I want/look how I want” and think that there’s an invisible bubble going to protect you from the big bad wolves of the world. Never was, never will be – ain’t gonna happen.