Today, I am missing my father- very much. There’s a huge space inside my heart where his presence used to be vibrant, resonant, and alive. Its still there, but its character has changed – faded into ghostly transparency. And today, that’s just not enough for me. Today, I won’t make the mistake of calling his cell number to see if someone else has it now. They don’t – and I can’t handle hearing his voice.
Today, I won’t be telling him about what my girls did. Or asking him for advice. Or making him laugh. Today, that makes me angry. Today, he won’t be popping over to my house asking me “What’s for dinner?” I wish I could hear him say that again.
Today, I am happy I had a Dad who could challenge me and make me think. A dad who loved me more than he ever said. But I know how much anyway- because he showed me.
Today, I am thankful my father WAS. I love and miss you Daddy! Today – and every day.