With tongue firmly in cheek I submit the following, some of which I originally got in a chain email a couple years ago
Now that I’m fifty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy. I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a dang Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you don’t know how good you’ve got it.
I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog via the freakin Dewey Decimal System. . . or god forbid – the Encylopedia Brittanica.
There was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there. Stamps were 10 cents.
Child Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our butts. The neighbors would call your parents to report any suspicious activity. Fear kept us in line. . . Nowhere was safe!
There were no iPods, iTunes, music sharing, mp files or any of that stuff! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hoof it to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or, you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and futz it all up! There were no CD players. We had tape decks and 8 track players in our cars. We’d play our favorite tape and “eject” it when finished, and then sometimes the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that’s how we rolled, baby!
We didn’t have fancy-schmantzy stuff like call waiting, call forwarding or three way calling. If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that’s it. Your friends would just have to call you back. If no one was home, oh well – there was no such thing as voice mail. And we didn’t have Caller ID, either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was. It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent, or your long lost cousin Antoine… you just didn’t know. You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
There weren’t any freakin’ cell phones. If you left the house, you actually had to be out of touch with your “friends”. OH MY GAWD !!! Think of the horror… not being in touch with someone 24/7. And then there’s the whole texting thing.
Don’t even get me started on GPS. If we got lost, we actually had to stop and ask someone for directions.
We didn’t have any fancy PlayStation, Wii, or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600. With games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘Asteroids’.. Your screen guy was a little square. You actually had to use your imagination. And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. forever and ever amen. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you “died”. Just like actual life.
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on television. No such thing as channel surfing -you had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel! NO REMOTES!!! OH NO, what’s the world coming to?!?! There was no such thing as HD, and TV actually went off the air every day from 1 am till 6 am.
There was no Cartoon Network either. You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons. . .
And we didn’t have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove. Imagine that!
Our parents told us to stay outside and play… all day long. (We just had to stay within hearing distance of the “come home” whistle – at least in my house). Oh, no – no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside… you were doing chores, missy!
And car seats – oh, please! Our parents threw us in the back seat or in the back of the pickup and we hung on. If we were riding in the front seat and lucky, we got the “safety arm” across the chest at the last second if they had to brake quick. But, if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling shotgun in the first place!
There were no such things as bike helmets, If you fell off your bike, you dusted yourself off, spit on your scrapes and continued on to your destination.
See that’s exactly what I’m talking about, you guys are spoiled rotten. None of you would have lasted 5 minutes in the 1970’s – or anytime before that.. . . just saying. . . I really do love you! 😉
The 50 and up Crowd.