Everest and The Kentucky Derby: Running for The Roses – and Out of Oxygen.

Ok so I’m now a bit cranky. I had a firmly tongue in cheek post ready to rock and roll, and somehow deleted the damn thing. Sigh…. So. Starting Over. As my daughter’s cat lingers in the porch window and hisses at me while I type…. its an auspicious restart?

Its Everest Season. That slim window of time wherein certifiably crazy people attempt to climb to the world’s highest point and perhaps kill themselves in the process. I find it morbidly fascinating. Oh, I neither need nor want to see corpses. I just can’t understand why anyone would want to do such a thing. If you want to die, there’s much easier and less painful ways to do so, friend. “Certainty of Death, Small chance of success? What are we waiting for?” ~ Gimli LOTR.  Of course,  this is coming from me, safely ensconced at my keyboard. Me, who can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. Me, who has a full blown asthma attack when I laugh too hard. I doubt I could walk  to Base Camp without incident. Speaking of Incidents: apparently there was a doozy of an EPIC ice ax fight between Climbers and Sherpas last week.  YIKES!  And perhaps long, long overdue?  I’ve been rereading my copies of Into Thin Air and Dark Summit and I guess I’m totally #TeamSherpa. Not that I agree with violence – BUT They do most – if not all, of the heavy lifting on the mountain – including schlepping incapacitated climbers to the summit and back (Sandy Hill Pittman, anyone?) for very little international recognition or financial compensation. All guts, no glory – as the climbers end up with the cred. Bound to be frustrating – hence the boilover.  But yeah – alas, you won’t see me up there this year. Unless transporter technology suddenly leapfrogs and I can get there without having to “get there.” I kind of like this breathing thing – which is apparently quite difficult to do 29,035 feet above sea level. And which I just realized is the height at which airplanes fly and now I’m woozy….

Mount Everest (topgold) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Woozy or not I am, however, attending a Kentucky Derby Party this afternoon. Complete with frock, fascinator, and mint julep in hand. Much more up my alley, as it were.  No fatal missteps into a crevasse or off a ledge at 27,000 feet.  Fatal conversational missteps may occur  if I over-imbibe on those mint juleps though. (wink wink – woozy indeed) But breathing should not be a problem unless the pollen count suddenly skyrockets on me.  I further confess I know nothing about “slop”, “exotics” “exacta wheels” or what “boxing” things does.  Here’s how Derby Day works for me:  I pick a horse. It has to have a nice name and be a pretty horse.  I scream and yell for it from the starting gate to the finish line.  I haven’t picked a winner since Seattle Slew and Secretariat – who ran the fastest Kentucky Derby EVER in 1973 – under two minutes!   So, if there’s an “S” name in the bunch this year that’s what I’m going with. Hahaha! Pictures will be posted on Facebook and Twitter later.

Courtesy: Kentuckytourism.com. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Related articles

• What Does it Cost to Climb Everest? (outsideonline.com)
• Everest climbers abandon ascent after attack by scores of angry Sherpas (guardian.co.uk)
• Watch: Alleged Mob of Sherpas Attack Climbers on Everest (abcnews.go.com)
• Everest Brawl Pits Climbers vs. Sherpas (abcnews.go.com)
• Brawl at 24,000 Feet: Inside the Ice-Axe Wielding Fight on Mt. Everest’s Summit (theatlanticwire.com)
• 139th Kentucky Derby today, $1,000 mint julep being sold (wgntv.com)
• Preparing for the Kentucky Derby (walkinginprettyshoes.com)
• Kentucky Derby Mint Julep (thekissters.com)
• Kentucky Derby Parties are Big Nationwide this Year. (prweb.com)
• 5 things to know Saturday at the Kentucky Derby (timesleader.com)

What’s in a Name? And, A Drive By Vomit

I woke this morning to the sound of giggles and murmuring in my living room.  Mayhem (the youngest) has been sleeping on the couch because of a spider-fright in her room. Chaos (the oldest) had to get up early to register online for next semester’s college courses.  So of course Chaos had to make sure that Mayhem was awake – because in her world if she ain’t sleepin, ain’t nobody sleepin. They didn’t bother me (today ) and so I snuggled back into my cocoon of warmth for a few extra ZZZZ’s. When I finally emerged into the living room – Chaos was registering for her classes and Mayhem was doing her usual morning zombie shuffle. At some point, Chaos decided to help herself to some post-Easter Jelly Beans.

Didja ever start eating something that you thought you knew what it was; but it turned out to be something different? Well…  (Gagging, goat-like noise) “Mom? Black jelly beans, what flavor are they?” Me:  “Liquorice.” Chaos: “What’s anise, then?”   Me: “It tastes like liquorice…. Its a plant.” She had been expecting grape flavor -mistaking black for purple in the dim light. Well, since things usually taste pretty crappy when you were expecting one taste and get another  – much merriment ensued when the word “anise” was phonetically compared to the word for the body orifice that produces said crap.  Which I was unaware of, quite apparently -  since I continued to blather on about the anise plant.  The girls were still chortling over “anus” and thought I was commenting about anuses….how you can boil and reduce them to make the liquorice flavor. Yes, I have lost my mind – but not quite on that grand a scale – yet….Mayhem  was holding her sides. To paraphrase JRR Tolkein: Its a dangerous business – getting out of bed in the morning.

Fast Forward to this afternoon:  The Tale of the Drive-by Puking.  To set the stage: the usual state of affairs is that Chaos brings Mayhem home after work, since the younger one is a member and the older one works there.  They arrived home at abut 6:20 pm today – par for the course.  Chaos had to relate what happened on the way home -  literally just up the street. They had turned down our street and were approaching the neighbor’s house.  Both girls noticed a girl sitting on the curb. The car in front of them slowed, stopped and picked the girl up.  Mayhem: “Whats going on?” Chaos: “Getting a ride, or getting kidnapped.”  Door of car opens, girl leans out – Kidnapping Escape Attempt? Nope.  She proceeds to hurl on the street.  The driver waves Chaos around and gives her a wide-eyed  “IDKWTF is going on” look as they pass the car.  Said car then proceeds to speed off down the street in some haste – leaving the lovely deposit behind…..

I am not surprised. In this town literally anything is possible.  But I think I have had enough strange hilarity for one day.

Just For Fun

And for your listening enjoyment, a little Straight No Chaser….

Enjoy, and Merry Christmas Everyone!

Ridin’ the Storm Out

As my friend Kelly would say:  Here’s the song reference:

REO Speedwagon – Ridin’ The Storm Out – Live
I decided to keep a weather blog of sorts and keep a record of my musings during this historic event.  In Western MA we aren’t supposed to get hit with the worst of it, but we are expecting power outages due to high winds, and I’m thinking some flooding in this area as the Westfield River serves as drainage for the southern east face of the Berkshires. And of course Westfield holds the United States record for the most rainfall in a 24 hour period, 13 inches,  & most rainfall in a storm Hurricane Diane 19.75 inches  – and please,  note below that Westfield is on this list no less than 3 times…..  GAH!

Wettest tropical cyclones and their remnants in Massachusetts Highest known recorded totals
Precipitation			Storm	Location	Ref
Rank	mm	Inches
1	501.7	19.75	Diane 1955	Westfield	[4]
2	324.4	12.77	New England Hurricane of 1938	Gardner	[2]
3	317.5	12.50	Carrie 1972	Tashmoo	[19]
4	312.4	12.3	1933 Outer Banks hurricane	Provincetown	[4]
5	251.0	9.88	Eloise 1975	Westfield	[19]
6	236.7	9.32	Connie 1955	Plainfield	[19]
7	231.1	9.10	Irene 2011	Savoy	[20]
8	213.36	8.40	Lee 2011	Worthington	[55]
9	179.3	7.06	Bob 1991	Westfield	[19]
10	175.5	6.91	Donna 1960	Great Barrington	[19]

Anyway, woke up this morning to misty drizzle and a brisk northeast breeze, gusting up to maybe 20 mph.  Work for me and classes for both the girls were cancelled last night, so I had planned on a bit of a sleep in. The Viking had other plans for me though  – calling about 9am to see if I could run up to  Blandford and pick up Sophie’s seizure medication. She won’t run out till the weekend -but who knows if we will be able to get up there by then. So Jill and I were off on a quick adventure, stopping at Dunkin for “coffee and” and also topping off the gas tank on the Saturn before the prices skyrocket again. Great to see that the utility companies and the Emergency Response personnel were (and are) already out in force.

As I left the house, I noticed that UPS had made a delivery.  It was from my dear friend Barney http://mountainperspective.wordpress.com in California- who sent me one of his handcrafted cutting  boards made of black walnut maple and cherry wood. It literally made my day – and I called him to thank him and chat after Jill and I got back from our errands. An expatriated New Englander, Barney is extremely concerned about how things are going, so I told him I would keep him posted.  Then, I thought I would do this weather blog  thing too.  This will help me I’m sure when my future grandchildren ask me what I was doing during Frankenstorm -the “Nor’easter-cane” of 2012.

The Viking came home for lunch at noontime, the wind is really picking up and my Dad’s windchimes are making music in very accelerated time. Jill and I decided to put together clothes and necessary equipment and get the animals stuff ready in case we do eventually need to leave.  I’m not overly concerned with that part of it right now per se; but better to be prepared to get gone than not.  Last year’s fiasco served as a lesson to everyone.

Mother Nature certainly seems to have it in for the Northeast lately. The tornado last year (which began in Westfield btw…) Hurricane Irene, the October “Snowpocalypse” at this exact time last year (that’s the weirdest thing, isn’t it?),  the minor earthquakes of last summer and again just last week up in Maine. I think she needs to get back on her HRT – and soon. Anyway, at the moment the wind is steady and the trees are swirling moderately; no real rain to speak of -just scattered here and there.   Going to sign off for now.  Will update with part 2 later (by phone if the power goes out) . Batten Down the Hatches! Full Speed Ahead, and Get the Whiners Below Deck!

For those of you not directly affected by this storm, but are interested in following whats going on here,  I recommend checking out  WWLP.com  They’re our local station and fairly accurate when it comes to weather stuff.

Locked and Loaded – Bring It On, Be-yotch!

Just this past week I was talking with The Viking about this time last year, when we were 18 inches deep in a freak October snowstorm – and how weird would it be if something similar was to happen this year…..  I guess I must be careful what I talk about, because (like you didn’t already know)  a Monster of a Storm is headed right up the coast. I can’t say I wished for it, because I didn’t – but I’m not surprised.  The experts have already said that our weather is gonna get “interesting” – what with global warming and all that…  so here we go  AGAIN.  Just an aside  “May you live in interesting times.” is a Chinese curse.,.. which appears to be working….. unfortunately.  Jussayin.

I have few worries though. We’re hardy New Englanders after all, and we can handle anything menopausal Mother Nature throws us.  I reblogged my friend Kelly’s post earlier about prepared-ness – she had quite a few suggestions that I hadn’t thought of. Good on ya, Kelly! – as my antipodal friends would say. I spent the majority of today cleaning up, down cellar – and doing laundry – a neverending task, right?

We have sterno, an abundance of batteries, the freezer is packed – which is a good thing as everything will keep everything else cold, the wool blankets I buy every year at The Sandwich Fair are stacked in the living room, we have LED lanterns, a case of juice boxes, a case of water, non perishables in abundance, plenty of food for the ferrets and the puppies, cash on hand, gas tank is full, grill propane tanks full, etc. etc. We  don’t have gutters to clean, or a sump pump for the cellar – but our house is up on a little hillock and our neighbors yards flood way before we are affected in the least.  We’d have to get at least 8 to 10 inches of rain to even begin to worry.  That said, I made sure to get the cellar in order, and the clothing in storage (we have only one closet in the house) is wayy up off  the cellar floor – just in case Mother Nature’s got it in for New England.  I also find it interesting that the given name for this storm is the same as the Viking’s biological mother’s.  The woman is, to be blunt – not a fan of mine,  and I’m certainly not one of hers – and I am hoping that the storm doesn’t take on her, shall we say,  “issues”… ahem….   Regardless We’re ready for ya, Sandy – Bring it On!  Rock Us Like a Hurricane!

Scorpions

I Waste So Much Time – but Maybe Not

I waste so much time.  Not really, but yeah… Tonight is one of those nights. My patience has been tried this evening.   Oh, nothing horrendous mind you. Just feeling intruded upon a tad bit.  So, my remedy this evening has been to sit out here on the computer, update my iPad, mess around with iTunes, blog, and drink – tonight my adult beverage of choice is Sailor Jerry – 92 proof rum,  and coke – in case anyone is interested.  I’ve had 2 so far – in a ball mason jar.

My evening playlist whilst I imbibe has included but is not limited to: Billy Joel: A Matter of Trust;  Alan Jackson: Remember When, 1910 Fruitgum Co: 123 Red Light, The Archies: Sugar, Sugar,  Bay City Rollers: SATURDAY Night;  Apocalyptica: The Unforgiven, Dolly Parton and Vince Gill: I Will Always Love You. The Penguins: Earth Angel, Richie Valens: Donna , Rammstein: Du Hast,  The Ramones: I Wanna Be Sedated, Susan Sarandon and Barry Bostwick : Dammit Janet , Rihanna: Disturbia, The Partridge Family: I Think I Love You, The Everly Brothers: Devoted to You, The Bee Gees: You Should Be Dancing, How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?; KC &The Sunshine Band: Boogie Shoes;  Santo and Johnny: Sleepwalk; Sinatra: Summer Wind and Something Stupid,  Aerosmith: Crazy, Carl Orff: O Fortuna, Red Hot Chili Peppers: Snow (Hey Oh), Lesley Gore: You Don’t Own Me, Fleetwood Mac: Landslide (thinking of you Kathi!), King Pee Wee and his Golden West Cowboys: Slowpoke; Simon & Garfunkel: Homeward Bound, Old Friends (Love You C!), Feelin Groovy, and Hazy Shade of Winter. Betcha didn’t know The Bangles actually covered that one and its an S&G original.  And, I forgot to mention that I’m singing.  As loudly as possible – with the porch door closed in deference to those that are sleeping. Its been a very long time since I have wasted time in this fashion and it feels GREAT!

Oh yeah – the soundtrack for “Mamma Mia” is on now – and I’m getting verklempt singing along to “Slipping Through My Fingers“    but I’m not changing the music.

” I try to capture every minute.”… “Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture, and save it from the funny tricks of time.”   ‘Slipping Through My Fingers‘

I get in these moods occasionally.  I have to admit its been quite awhile since I’ve sat out here and belted out a few tunes and had a few drinks to go along with my solo jam session.  My oldest is out with her friends, my baby (see above)  – gone to bed,  and the Viking went night night several hours back because he has to work early tomorrow (going in for 5 am).  I’ve got iTunes on Shuffle and just letting it do its thing while I write. Having some fun now my friends!

And just to paint a picture for you – I’m also dancing in my seat where appropriate. And, when is it appropriate not to? Its my party and I’ll dance if I want to…. LOL. John Lennon once said  “Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.”  I’m  having a blast so I guess my time isn’t being wasted.  I choose to look at it as recharging ye olde batteries. My musical taste is quite eclectic as you can tell from the playlist I mentioned.  But what is it about music that is so emotional?  Songs take me right back to the place in time -which leaves me melancholy, yes – but also quite happy in a strange way. If cotton is the fabric of our lives, Music is the thread, connecting it all.  How many times has your day been made by hearing a song you haven’t heard in AGES and remembering the lyrics instantly?

Hearing Sinatra singing Summer Wind brings me to the last dance I ever had with my Dad.  It was literally almost 2 years after he passed away before I could listen to anything by Sinatra at all. The Bee Gees, KC and The Sunshine Band take me straight back to high school, The Partridge Family, The Archies, Simon and Garfunkel bounce me into my tweens. Slowpoke brings me to my childhood with my Gramma Emma singing it to me while I sat in her lap.  And anything by The Everly Brothers or Paul Anka brings me right to my kitchen in Blandford – singing harmony with my Mom.

This has been good for my soul – although I will likely pay for it with a big headache in the morning (I’m on drink #4 now)  But yeah, I’m having one helluva time – wasting time… I highly recommend it.

Johann Pachelbel – Variations on the Kanon

Aaron Lewis – Massachusetts

Green Day – Good Riddance [Time Of Your Life]

James Blunt – Goodbye My Lover

Israel “IZ” Kamakawiwo‘ole – Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World

The Case of the Overflowing Toilet (The Cascade Effect): Or, Why I’m Always Flat Broke….

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Things happen in sets around here for some reason.  Streaks of bad and sometimes good luck – but lately mostly of the negative variety.  Here’s the latest:  We’ve had a runner of a toilet for quite some time now. Every once in awhile the doo-hickey inside hangs up and the stopper doesn’t seat properly so the water just keeps on running.  Everyone who lives here is aware of the need to jiggle the handle and listen for not only the thud of the stopper but the change in the pitch of noise as the tank refills.  So far, so good.  Unless you have a fateful combination of events that seem to have conspired to send us straight to the poorhouse, or debtors prison (Do they still have these things?)

Fact:   Logan, we have a runner. Fact: We had one hell of a storm the other night with a  tremendous amount of rain.  Fact:  These two things conspired to create a severe toilet overflow in the middle of the storm. The sewer system was already at capacity and it backed up when the toilet kept running. Fact: Our oldest daughter alerted us to this problem whilst The Viking and I were enjoying a lovely meal of roast chicken – by screaming for her father at top volume. Which of course made us think Shelob had crawled out of the shower drain or something.  Not the case – killing spidey would have been easy, and cheap. Fact: We had to use all the towels in the house to mop up the mess.  Fact: The girls and I spent the next 2-3 hours disinfecting said towels in the laundry and disinfecting the entire bathroom. Fact: I never did get to finish my roast chicken dinner. Fact: I completely missed S5/E2 of Sons of Anarchy – which I think pissed me off even more than all the previous facts combined.  Further Fact: It cost a couple hundred+ for an emergency repair.

Two days later – even more further facts: 1. A constant drip had started from the side of the tank. 2. It turned out the tank was cracked.  3. To sum up:  a new toilet was needed along with a new flange and piping because the original plastic flange fell apart when the toilet was taken out – all to the tune of another couple hundred bucks.   We decided to completely replace the toilet and get a metal flange because of what I call the “cascade effect”  also known as (Brigid) Murphy’s Law.  She’s also known by the considerably less elegant moniker of The Shit Fairy around here.

Its been our experience with any plumbing job that once we start to work on the presenting problem it then creates more problems which of course cost more money. Hence: cascade effect – a subsidiary of Murphy’s Law. This debacle proved no exception, and rather than get these issues fixed in stages and create more expense, we figured to cut to the chase, as it were.  Still, this expense was not planned for in the least, and put quite a dent in the finances – just as we were thinking we were starting to get ahead again.  (I feel like Michael Corleone in The Godfather 3).

“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in…”

It would appear we are destined never to be operating in the black for long….. Sigh*   Brigid Murphy, aka the Shit Fairy, is once again hovering over Hacienda del Chaos.

It would help if the Viking was a DIY plumber – but alas – no.  The one time I let him put in a new kitchen sink he busted the pipes underneath by tightening them one turn too much and I ended up using my bathroom sink and shower faucets for cooking water for a week.  NEVER AGAIN.  The Viking is good for woodworking, basic carpentry, replacing oil filters and doing oil changes on the car, and simple electrical stuff (ie replacing light fixtures and ceiling fans). He’s also great for replacing decks, roofing, and putting in patios and firepits.  In fact, he is awesome at doing all these things.  The rest we leave to the professionals -  Cha-ching!

Ms Murphy, Brigid Darling -  Please go hover over someone ELSE’S house for awhile, Or I will have to dig out my slingshot and crossbow…..jussayin…..

Related articles

• The DIY Skill Every Guy Needs (lewrockwell.com)
• Toilet Trivia (stanleysolutions.wordpress.com)
• Why Toilets Are Still Made of Porcelain [Drawing Board] (gizmodo.com)
• Progress on Le Toilette (intentionalgirl.wordpress.com)

I Can’t Resist

One more, because I was forced to listen to Ke$ha on the way home from The Summer House (Ice Cream Shoppe) tonight

 

Eleven Questions

Thanks to Peaches for tagging me!!

Let’s get started:

RULES
1.You must post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
3. Create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
4. Tag (eleven) people with a link to
your post.
5. Let them know they’ve been tagged.

QUESTIONS FOR ME TO ANSWER:

Least favorite quality in some people?  Dishonesty and Backstabbers

Favorite smell?  The smell of Christmas Dinner cooking, and Balsam

Favorite song that is at least 10 years old?   D’yer Mak’er  Led Zeppelin

What is your biggest niggling anxiety at the moment? (Not fear, just..anxiety)  Finances

Best health tip? Drink lots of Water

Favorite type of book? I have to have a favorite type????   Hmm, mysteries, thrillers, spy novels, sci-fi, high fantasy, romance, supernatural romance, supernatural, biographies, historical fiction, historical non- fiction (particularly the Tudor era) and so on, and so forth, etc etc.  I even like graphic novels and comic books.  Bibliophile Extraordinaire – thats me!

What injustice do you find most infuriating?  That people are still judged based on their appearance and not what’s it their hearts.

What is your favorite environment to be in?  Vacation mode, anywhere. Or home – snuggled up on the couch on a snowy evening with a warm blankie, hot cocoa and the husband.

What makes you feel safe?  See above, Actually, I feel most safe on Saturday afternoons, after chores are done, dinners in the oven, on the grill, or in the slow cooker, the fridge is full of good food, I’m sipping a glass of good white wine, and listening to the neighborhood kids (including mine) laugh and play.

What do you love most about yourself or your life? I’m fortunate to have family and friends that provide unconditional love and support.

What moment in history do you think most affects the present?  Hands down, has to be 9/11 – unfortunately.  

My 11 Questions:

Channelling James Lipton (“Inside the Actors Studio”)  here for the first two questions:

1.  What is your favorite Sound?

2.  When you get to heaven, What’s the first thing God will say to you?

3. Favorite  @%&*U*$%&   word?

4.  Personal Accomplishment that makes you feel the best?

5.  Biggest Regret? (I’ve had a few, but then again – too few to mention)

6.  Favorite Drink?  (alcoholic or non-alcoholic)

7. What’s the best vacation you ever took? And why?

8. Whats the best movie adaptation of a book you’ve ever seen, and why?

9.  Describe the person you are closest to in one word.

10.  Do you have a hobby, if so – what is it? (Blogging doesn’t count for these purposes, lol)

11.  What grinds your gears about people?

And as a big bonus:  Name 5 things that make you happy!

Taggees:

Barneysday

Irishsignora

Gina

Eleenie

Kate

Sammyjaybird

Russelray

raymondtowers

Emma

Genie

Marsha

underthewisdomtree

SKEdazzles